We have a security guard at work now. He has a uniform but I don’t think he has a gun. I don’t think he needs one. I’m not sure that he has a lot to do. I would get pretty darn bored walking around our small one-story cube farm all day, watching baggy old systems analysts and developers et al hang out at their computers. We have had a couple of cracked windows in the last month or so and, although aggressive lawn-mowing is suspected, our company is not taking any chances.

Back when I worked over at That Darn EPA (see disclaimer below), there was an actual lobby with security guards on duty 24-7. There was a need for security guards over at that facility because just about anybody and his alien friend from Zephron III could walk in the front door. There is plenty of sensitive data stored over at the EPA, not to mention all of the dangerous fuels and gases and other things that blow up in the night or whenever.

Our security guards were a part of the family. They knew who worked there and who didn’t and they once clued in a prescription drug addled co-worker of mine that she had arrived at 7:30 at *night*, not 7:30 in the morning. And then there was the time that the guards had to chase a mentally impaired employee out the door and across the parking lot. He bolted (with sensitive documents) when he encountered a secretary (yes, there were still some secretaries then) who had told him not to come back until he had bathed. It had been a month or whatever and it was time. I didn’t see this happen but I remember hearing that the guards were laughing so hard they couldn’t run. Disclaimer: I hesitated to tell this story. I have not worked over at the EPA for many years but the GG still does. But everyone mentioned in this story is either dead or doesn’t work there any more and that was a whole ‘nother era. Nowadays (post 2001), there is a car-eater over there…

At my work, we are all a bit flummoxed that there is an actual security guard. He seems like a nice enough young man and I am happy that we’re employing him. But I have had my job for four years now and I have *never* felt threatened by anyone or anything that whole time. Well, maybe except for the red-winged blackbirds that poop on my car. I have to swipe an ID card and enter a security code to get into the building. I *always* leave my purse and iPhone and whatever other valuables I have with me at my desk. I walk around our beautiful business park every day without fear.

P. S. RIP Steve Jobs.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, October 5th, 2011 at 6:07 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.