OFV, stage 1
I remember when my grandma Margaret began to get frail and people were fussing around about whether or not she could still live alone. Er, well, she was not quite alone because her younger sister Anna Raeburn was living with her, not that Ann was all that much help. For the most part, Margaret had helped Ann throughout life. When I was a kid, my grandparents lived in a house that was big enough to shelter their four kids plus grandaddy’s sister Elizabeth and grandma’s sister Ann. When I was a kid, my grandma and those sisters were all robustly healthy and ran a house with a kitchen that provided many a holiday dinner or brunch or whatever.
My grandma was already fragile and had stopped driving when she fell and broke a hip at around the age of 85. I’m mangling the details, I’m sure, but she never came out of the hospital after that. She died while I was on a wind ensemble tour in my first year of college and I will never forget when the normally drill sergeant-type director sat beside me to ask me if I was okay. Actually, I was okay…
I write this only to remember (and remind The Comm) that my grandma was *only* 85 at that time and the *only* reason she was living at home prior to breaking her hip was because she had two sons living in the same town as her. So, my dad and The Commander and my uncle Don and The White Tornado (The Beautiful Jan’s fantastic mom Katie!) were all available to help my grandma with stuff. Grandma then lived in the same house The Commander owns now but that’s a whole ‘nother story.
Today. We drove up from Houghton Lake this morning and met The Beautiful Jan and The Commander at The Comm’s new home, the Freighter View assisted living facility. The Comm is *90* and up until she had a small stroke in April, she was living independently in her beautiful house in Sault Ste. Siberia. She is recovering beautifully from that small stroke but I am uncomfortable with her living alone any more. I am her only living child and I live and work five hours away from her. Neither of us want me to drop my life and work to move here.
The Comm has an absolutely beautiful room at FV. She has a corner full of windows, where she can see lake freighters going through the Soo Locks literally right across the street. (I almost think that Grandroobly and The Engineer made her wait as long as she did so she would get this particular room… hmm…) FV is a beautiful place and The Comm is familiar with it from visiting friends and relatives (Radical Betty) there.
I know it is excruciatingly hard to leave the home you have been managing for umpteen million years and let other people try to manage your life for you. I know that I will hate it some day…
July 1st, 2011 at 9:50 pm
It sounds like a wonderful place and perfect room, but it’s not the same as being in one’s own place and relatively independent. This move will require mental adjustments for everyone. A round of hugs for everyone.
July 2nd, 2011 at 11:37 am
Don’t worry. When you get to that point, I’ll be dredging through these records and quoting you back to yourself. 🙂
Children!! They’re so merciless.