In other words, it will not look like this. I hope. If it does, whoever ends up being our floor installer when we renovate the Landfill Kitchen will find himself fighting off a crazy woman riding a Roomba!

This is the result of the last time we installed a new floor in the Landfill Kitchen. It was a DIY job. Lemme see, I think the beach urchins were about six and four but I couldn’t tell you for sure. The only thing I remember about it was that the DIY-er finished the DIY job while the rest of us were at Fin Family Moominbeach. We arrived home after one of those long, hard days of driving down the I75 SUV Speedway with two vee-hickles, with a stop at Houghton Lake midway. I think that was the trip that the Marquis hitched a ride on. If I remember correctly, that trip featured a flat tire in our old Jetta at Houghton Lake and then the Gumper testing the range of his CB radio by calling us continually as we drove on down south of Houghton Lake. Mouse spent the last hour in an exhausted sleep, lying across the middle seat over a bunch of crap that we felt compelled to travel with. She was wearing a tie-dyed dress and, yes, she had a seatbelt on. The Marquis escaped whatever ensued at the Landfill that night by catching a flight out of Metro back to St. Louis.

I think that do-it-yourself household prodjects intentionally misspelled are fine. But this one had taken a little too long. We spent at least a few weeks at the beginning of that summer with no flooring in the kitchen at all. I like to go barefoot in the summer and let’s just say walking on the sub-flooring or whatever you want to call it was not fun. And I did not want linoleum. There was linoleum in here when we moved in. I viewed our mini-reno as a chance to get rid of that stuff. At *that* time (not now!!!!!) I wanted ceramic tile. Everybody and his 3rd cousin seven times removed shouted me down! Unfortunately, I listened. We bought linoleum. From a snake-oil salesman. It was okay for a couple years. After that, the glue that we were sold to hold the crappy linoleum down began to react with the heat from that register. The floor started to develop orange spots. Over the years, the orange spots spread further and further out and the area near the heat register got darker and darker.

I’m not getting linoleum again. I am not going to get ceramic tile either. I haven’t decided what I’ll be buying yet but I’m going for natural materials. I’m not sure what yet. I know about bamboo and cork, et al. We’ll just have to see what I decide. But it’ll be my decision (and the GG’s). And if my new floor starts to turn orange over there by the heat register, heads are gonna roll. Make no mistake.

The new Landfill Kitchen will not be fancy. But it will be beautiful. Because that’s how I roll. That is all.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, January 20th, 2010 at 7:01 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.