Y’all have seen the movie, roight? I’ve seen it a few times.

I have probably written about this before but I lived a version of the Groundhog Day movie back in 2012 when The Commander got fed up with living and wanted out. Did I want my mother to die? Of course not! But she was not the mother I grew up with. She was not the mother I struggled with as a teenager (but who also supported me unconditionally). She was not the mother who doted on her grandchildren. She was not the mother who loudly told morbid stories while shopping at Planet Ann Arbor stores (flinging a dead porcupine into the swamp and Radical Betty’s friend dying on a hike in a Canadian national park and having to call the Mounties to get his body out). She was not the mother that I often called (as an adult) to shoot the shit and laugh (and kvetch) with.

End of life is no fun for anyone and mom’s last year was a pretty rough ride. We got her situated at a nice assisted living facility a half mile down the escarpment from her home (which she still owned). We hoped she would flourish at assisted living but various trips to the ER/ICU ensued and each one of those further degraded her well-being. She contracted c. diff during the last of those hoosegow stays and refused meds and food and NO! she did NOT want MEEEE to feed her! Sorry nurse but neither one of us love each other in quiiiite that way. We are independent women… Eventually we arranged for hospice care at her assisted living facility and every morning I hoofed it down there from her house (Squatter’s Paradise) for another day of hanging out with a woman who didn’t really want to live any more but was a bit too healthy to die. So awful but it also reminded me of the Groundhog Day movie.

Today the GG went hiking somewhere over in the west with his girlfriends. I was spacified. I walked, did chores, shopped for grokkeries, and prepped lasagnes for the GG to take up to Tahquamenon next weekend. And then, I found a new groundhog day type movie. Y’all have maybe heard of Russian Doll because it’s been hyped. I have watched two episodes of Russian Doll on my phone. Yes, on my phone. It’s on Netflix. I am enjoying it. I wonder if I can get the GG to watch it with me (on the TV).

It is 38 degrees here today. That is ABOVE zero! And I just saw a guy run by in shorts and a tank top…

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