That’s my purse. Yes, I travel light. It has one compartment for my phone and another for cards and whatever random amount of cash I happen to have on me, usually not very much. I don’t deal in coins much except that I tend to snag quarters for the car wash and the londry-mat.

This morning? I could not find my blasted purse. Anywhere. I discovered this [of course] a split second before I headed out the door. I panicked for about another half split second before I realized where it was. At least I was 99.9999% sure that it was in the Mean Green Frog Hoppin’ Musheen, right where I left it yesterday when we got home from hiking and I got distracted by a momentarily missing glub in the back seat and subsequently fergot to retrieve my purse from the pocket in the door next to the driver’s seat. Problem? The Mean Green Frog Hoppin’ Musheen was, at that moment, safely ensconced behind the Vee-hickle Eater over at That Darn EPA, five miles in the opposite direction from where I was headed, plus, Vee-hickle Eater, don’t’cha know. I have not had an EPA badge for years…

Problem solving mode. Problem: Can I get to Barry Bagels (to meet MMCB) without getting into an accident or some other situation involving the po-leese? Solution: Probably, seeing that the only accident I’ve ever had that involved the po-leese was when I was 17 — long story involving my grandmother’s 1965 [I think] Ford Fairlane [500?] and glare ice (and I was not at fault). I don’t count the time I was parked in the Indefatigable in the Commie High parking lot waiting for Mouse when a kid driving an old beater with a fake leg sticking outta the trunk rear-ended me. I hate driving around without my driver’s license but I was pretty confident that I could stay under the, uh, radar.

Problem: How do I pay for coffee? Solution: By scooping up a bunch of quarters (like I said earlier, I do snag quarters) before heading out the door.

Problem: How do I get in the door at work? Hmmm… Who will be at work when I get there and what are their phone numbers? Hmmm… I have a laminated list of phone numbers. Oh shoot, that list is in my purse! Cube Nayber is off today and the Queen Bee comes in later than I do, even when coffee with MMCB is on my agenda. If I get to work at the same time as W1.5 or Louie-Louii or somebody, I can piggyback in the door with one of them in flagrant violation of company security policies. But that’s a long shot. There are ways to get in but it’s all a pain in the you-know-what. I understand security issues but about the only interlopers that frequent our business park are folks looking for The Admiral and his friends, aka Bird Watchers!

In the end, I met up with MMCB at Barry’s, called the GG, who checked the Frog Hopper and FOUND my purse, just like I thought he would. And then I drove over there and retrieved it. MMCB said, “at least your phone wasn’t in your purse!” Well, of course not. My phone is almost never more than a couple feet away from me. How the heck would I be able to tell what the weather is when I wake up in the morning? If my phone had been in my purse, I would’ve realized my purse was missing oh, maybe about noon yesterday.

This entry was posted on Monday, November 4th, 2013 at 6:41 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.