Knock knock.

Now what? This was the second time this afternoon that someone was at the door. The GG was crashed out on the couch in the back room and Froggy was sleeping it off in his laundry basket grok-snort, so it fell to me to see what was up. Actually, I had food in my mouth to boot. “Hi, my name is Norman.” Or was it Horace? No, Horace is a dog. I guess I didn’t quite catch his name. He was holding a bible and there was a woman standing behind him in a flowered dress. Typical proselytizing tag team. Okay…

I stood there trying to figure out how to open my mouth and say, “No thank you,” but I was eating, so I couldn’t manage it. He started in with, “There are those who think that people were created and others who think that people evolved. What is your opinion?” I don’t mean to be disrepectful to anyone’s religion but, I am sorry, I could hardly keep a straight face. In the first place, I’m always a bit incredulous when people actually ask *me* for an opinion! Hmmm. What *is* my opinion?

I couldn’t believe the rush of thoughts and memories that flooded through my mind in the half-second it took me to swallow my food and actually say, “No thank you!” I’ve been thinking about stuff like this since I was three years old! All the time. I’m not sure the word “infinity” was firmly embedded in my vocabulary at three but I was definitely trying to work out the concept: i.e., what if I keep cutting a piece of paper in half and in half and in half again — will I ever get to the point where I can’t cut it in half any more — when there’ll be nothing left? I used to contemplate the meaning of the universe too. Quite regularly. How did we get here? Was there somebody *outside* the universe who created it. Who was it? What did that entity look like? What does it look like *outside* the universe.

And then there’s how my brain tried to parse his question. What did he mean by “create?” I mean, I have a relatively good basic understanding of how evolution works and I think that’s how human beings came to be. Creation? Well, I’m right back to my early childhood. How did this system get set up anyway. Did it just come out of nothing? What does nothing look like? Creation? Maybe. But it sure didn’t happen in seven days, which is what I am pretty sure Norman/Horace was hoping to try to convince me of.

So, I said, “no thank you.” I didn’t want to waste his time. He replied with something like, “okay, have a nice day.” I could tell by his voice and body language that he was disappointed in me. I’m used to that. All the religious proselytizers do that when they encounter me. I can just feel them thinking, “She’s gonna burn in hell! In those ratty old clothes.” I dunno. Maybe. But I think I’ve seen a few ghosts and I’m sure there were people in life on earth who thought that *my* ghosts were gonna burn in hell. I don’t think that’s where they are! I think they’re ripping around commandeering the controls of airplanes and lake freighters and playing trombones and drinking bourbon and walking the beach with their dogs. And I hope they’re haunting a few real estate developers.

So, like I said, I am, or try to be, respectful of other people’s religions, so I don’t want to go there. And I don’t think Norman/Horace and I are all that far apart because we just want to understand ourselves and our world and make it a better place. But did y’all think about this kind of stuff when you were kids? What do you think about ghosts? Have you seen evidence of one? Do they exist? What *did* you think about when you were three?

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